How I Learned the Meaning of Belly Side Up

So for those of my devoted readers that don't already know, I work part time for a Cafe. This morning as I'm driving to said Cafe at 6:55 I get a text from my co-worker who is already there.

The text reads:

Ashley, are you almost here, I'm scared, I think Hoover is dead.

My heart naturally started to beat wildly, and I hit the gas a little. Then as I'm speeding down Broadway I get the thought, "Who the hell is Hoover?" Several things rush through my head as sneak through a red light. Was Hoover one of the nicknames we'd made up for the homeless people that hang around the cafe, did she show up to find him dead huddled up for warmth under our overhang? It had been rather nippy the night before....Or worse yet, was Hoover the name of one of our several elderly patrons? Had he passed out face first onto his breakfast sandwich? By this time I'm pulling into parking lot. When I get to the door I'm relieved to find that there aren't any bums outside, nor customers inside. But my co-workers eyes were undeniably red and puffy. She let me in, then pointed across the cafe. That's when it hit me. Hoover was our fish. Not just any fish mind you, but a 17 year old, 13 lb fish that has become kind of like a mascot for the cafe. Not only has he survived 17 years, but something like 4 different owners.

Here is a picture for those of you who are not familiar with him:

Of course this is not what he looked like this morning. My Co-work told me between sniffles that she wasn't sure if he was dead. She couldn't bring herself to go look into the tank, and wanted to know if I could check.

Now for the record, Hoover and I weren't very close. Judging by the fact that I didn't even know his name was Hoover you could just call us acquaintances. I never even so much as fed the guy, wait, I really hope it wasn't my job to feed him. Anyways, I agreed to investigate the presumed death of the fish. Due to the sensitive nature of the moment I refrained from doing my best Horatio Cane impression before heading to the tank. This is what I found when I got there:

I'm telling you, I didn't even need to pull off my sunglasses in slow motion and make an over obvious statement to know this fish was dead. I've never seen a deader fish. His gills weren't moving, he was laying on the bottom of the tank upside down and he was a weird color. Not to mention that there was an X where his eyes used to be. So I called it, time of death 7:03am, Wednesday January 5th, 2011.

The next thing we had to do was call the owner and give her the bad news. Since I was the only one that saw the carnage first hand I was elected and made the call. The Owner was at the Cafe 15 minutes later, 20 minutes after that I was holding a large black trash bag and getting nasty dead fish water dripped all over me as Hoover took his final journey. I can't help thinking that he's spent the last 17 years wondering what life would be like outside his tank. I think he would have been disappointed.

The day progressed with an air of sadness. We spent most of the morning contemplating the cause of death. Several theories were discussed. Perhaps he was overfed, maybe someone had put bleach in the water, possibly he had mistaken a pebble at the bottom of the tank for a little shrimp and had choked on it, who knew? We would later come to learn from the fish coroner, aka the guy that cleans the tank, that no, Hoover had not been a victim of murder, he was just old.

When I was getting ready to leave, my co-worker and the owner were discussing whether or not they should get a plaque to go above the fish tank in Hoovers memory. All I could think of was one of those fake mounted fish that turn their head and sing when you push the button. I almost suggested as much, but then quickly remembered that my comment about having fish sticks as our daily special didn't go over too well when I'd said it about 10 minutes earlier. So out of respect for the dead I keep quiet.

I'm not sure what the moral of the story is, not really. Maybe all stories don't need a moral. Maybe this was just my way of sending Hoover off in style, I'm guessing not may fish get an obituary.

So here's to you, where ever you are now, Hoover the fish, I hope you have all the little shrimps you can eat and a much bigger tank to swim in. It was nice to work with you, and I'm sorry I didn't know your name.

Goodbye 2010, Hello 2011

Well it's New Years Eve. It kinda feels like it always is. There are things I love about NYE, such as confetti and friends and kissing someone at midnight. But there are things I hate about it too. I hate the fact that when I look back at the year there are lots of things I didn't do that I wanted to do, resolutions that never got done, places I never went. Maybe if a year was the length of two years I'd have a fair shot. It's always around the beginning of December that I really want to make this year one for the books...but then there is
Christmas to worry about and instead I start making a new list of goals and resoultions for New Years Eve. Oh well, time marches on...

So anyway, here we are. Time to look back at 2010. I posted on my FB earlier this month that "2010 was a year". Cause that's what it was. I couldn't bring myself to say it was a good year, but I also can't say it was a bad year. It was an eventful year, yes...eventful is a good word for it. I think I'll make a list, I'm good at making lists, just ask Ian....

Things that Happened in 2010:
(in no particular order)

• Got lost in San Fransisco with my girlies.
• Saw Wicked, my first Broadway quality musical.
• Dyed my hair for the first time, then later for the second time.
• Got buzzed for the first time, did first Ray Charles impression (allegedly).
• Tiptoed through the tulips.
• Saw BOTH Fullhouse houses.
• Met the one and only Staso.
• Yelled at a lady at Burger King, "I WANT 10!"
• Apologized for scaring a lady at Burger King.
• Drove to Camarillo for the first time by myself.
• Got to show my sister Megan all my favorite places on the Central Coast.
• Went to the Hollywood Bowl and saw Rent with like a million other people.
• Started a blog just so I could tell everyone how awesome it was.
• Got a Kitten.
• Tried to give away a kitten.
• Decided that I could live with a kitten.
• Had an heartwarming birthday weekend.
• Discovered the band Airborne Toxic Event.
• Realized how wonderful the show Community is.
• Got to be a brides maid for the first time.
• Watched my best friends get married.
• Witnessed first hand the power of friendship.
• Started writing again.
• Got a second job.
• Remembered how much I love making coffee for other people.
• Got a trophy girl friend.
• Found the true meaning of Christmas.
• Lots of other stuff that I can't write because it would be 2011 by the time I was done.

Things I learned in 2010:

• That when it comes down to the things that matter your friends are going to be there to get you through.
• That the worst thing you can do is stop trying.
• That the way I feel isn't always the only thing that matters.
• Jersey sheets are the BEST!
• That life doesn't stop and people grow up and move on, even if you don't want them too.
• Life is short.
• When your husband says it's not a good idea to get a kitten he's not necessarily just saying that to be mean to you, and that he's most likely right.
• That people can change, even if its just a little. That a little bit can be just enough.
• That if you have a few ants in your car, you most likely have a whole colony of ants in your car and they are probably living in that Office boardgames in the back seat.
• That creating a blog is easy, writing in it regularly isn't.
• When kittens climb to the top of a Bow Flex, they have a hard time getting back down. (I'm learning this one right now.)

As 2010 passes into the rear view mirror I want to take the last few moments to set some goals for 2011, that way next year I'll have something to write about.

Things I want to do in 2011:

• See the inside of a jail.
• Make a random stranger smile.
• Write a letter to one person in my life every month telling them what they mean to me.
• Go on a crazy adventure.
• Travel to a state I've never been in.
• Keep my dishes done.
• Finish at least 75% of the things I start.
• Lose some weight.
• Do something I didn't think I could do.
• Be a great friend.
• Make Ian think he has the best wife ever for at least 5 minutes.
• Write in my blog more often.
  

To all of my faithful readers out there, I want to wish you the best of luck in the new year. I hope you have some adventures of your own. And remember not to take life for granted, you only get one. Much Love!

No Day But Today

"Let He Among Us Without Sin Be The First To Condemn...La Vi Boheme"



So, on Friday I was lucky enough to take a trip to Los Angeles and watch an amazing performance of the musical RENT performed at the Hollywood Bowl. As a theater junkie I'm embarrassed to say that though I know all the songs and have watched the movie a million times this was the first time I'd seen it performed live on stage. I can not begin to describe just how great this experience was. I decided that a post on FB was not going to be enough so I decided to blog about it instead. Originally I had just planned to just critique it and tell you all the good and bad things like how Vanessa Hudgens just couldn't pull off the role of a junkie or how Nicole Scherzinger surpassed EVERY expectation I had and completely won me over or just how hot Aaron Tveit was. But as I've been thinking of the experience all day I think I'd rather tell you about how much I love the musical itself instead.

To me, RENT embodies the desire to create and to live for the beauty, passion, and joy that comes from being an artist and a free thinker; something that I can relate to...a little. I've kinda always wanted to be a poor starving artist living in New York City spending the little bit of money I had to support my art. Okay... so I can't relate to that at all...seeing as I work at a bank and have no particular artistic talent whatsoever. But hey...at least I'm poor. I guess what I really mean to say is that the idea of living for No Day but Today is incredibly intoxicating and romantic even if it's impractical. But for those two hours I sat in the Hollywood Bowl on Friday night, myself and 18,000 other people felt like we were part of something beautiful and inspiring. As I mouthed every line (I wanted to sing but I figured the nice couple in front of me didn't pay $50 to hear a terrible off key version of Take Me or Leave Me) to every song, it was like I was part of that group of Bohemian artists.

I also admire the fact that while there are several homosexual relationships in the musical it is a non-issue. There is no talk or trace of discrimination or hate against the characters because of their sexual preference. I think this fact in itself inspires tolerance. The main message is focused on the point that the characters loved not on who they loved. To me Rent does an amazing job of showing all the sides and importance of love. It shows that loves is hard and sometimes nearly impossible, that it hurts and can push you to the very edge of sanity. It does a great job of never once leading you to believe that love can fix anything...but at the same time that love is what makes life worth living.

Jonathan Larson, the man that wrote RENT died the night before it open on Broadway. I would like to think that if he could have seen the performance I saw and gotten to watch 18,000 people mooing along with Maureen during her performance piece he would have been not only been proud but amazed at the legacy he left behind. All in all it was a great way to end a great week even if I didn't get to make out with NPH.


"The Opposite Of War Isn't Peace...It's Creation!"